It’s the same thing…

Just substitute the word chocolate with coffee…Top-Shelf Chocolate video.

Coffee Mate confused for cocaine

At least now that it’s happened to someone else, maybe people will believe me when I tell them this happened to me two years ago while on an origin trip. Unfortunately, I hate the stuff (I was bringing it to show what “terrible” is) so I didn’t eat it. Things got bad, but I’m all right now.

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/drugsmuggling-tory-mp-forced-to-eat-coffee-whitener-920808.html

McCain, RNC Agenda, Hurricane Gustav, and Coffee.

The Republican National Convention is to start Monday, but because of Hurricane Gustav, the RNC has “cut back most of its activities Monday.” Rightfully so, the RNC doesn’t want to appear celebratory in the wake of such a possible disaster and will only conduct official business Monday.

President Bush will also not attend at all.

Hurrican Gustav’s projected path has it making landfall on Monday.

Will McCain even show up now? He can’t let Hurricane Gustav bring back memories of Hurricane Katrina and that administration debacle.

My suggestion to anyone making the trip to St. Paul to attend the RNC and finding themself with a little extra time: do not trust your coffee to anyone except Kopplin’s Coffee.

Fair-trade coffee: buy it to make yourself feel better.

I love this…

Is Fair Trade a Fair Deal?

By Gene Callahan

“I suggest that this belief in the power of some concerned body—be it composed of government officials, economic “experts,” religious authorities, or social activists—to discern some “just price” for a good, other than the one emerging from the market process, is the most fundamental misunderstanding bedeviling the fair-trade movement.

However, that is not the only problem with its present modus operandi. At least in its current corporate embodiment in the company bearing the name TransFair USA, which is the entity that officially labels certain coffees “Fair Trade,“ the movement appears somewhat arbitrary about which producers are to be blessed with the label…”

Continue reading,

or here’s the last paragraph of the paper -

“A genuinely free market favors no one except those who best can produce the goods desired by consumers, and no participant in the market process can gain an elevated status in society that is exempt from the necessity to continue to serve the interests of consumers in the future. If Progressives, who typically are driven by a truly commendable desire for a fair society, come to recognize that moving toward genuinely free markets will advance, and not hinder, the achievement of their goals, then their efforts will achieve much better results, to the benefit of everyone except the entrenched interests that profit from the current, government-distorted markets.”

If you would like, you can follow a thread on coffeed.com discussing this very article.

Just a cafe.

I went to an appreciated, “coffee industry” famous, third-wave cafe the other day. The one where they take their coffee very, very seriously. Coffee is almost like a religion, and Starbucks is the devil. My kind of place.

The guy in front of me wanted to order a soy latte. The barista said “no, sorry, but no.”

“Excuse me?” The guy wasn’t sure if it was a joke. Neither was I really.

“We don’t have soy,” the barista said, glancing over the man’s shoulder and at me as if he was ready to move on. The guy wouldn’t move though. The barista looked back at him. “It compromises the espresso. We can’t find any that steam good either.”

“You’re kidding?”

“No.”

The guy hesitated for a moment, thinking about what he should say. He turned and left.

Not very nice, but I understood them wanting to protect the espresso. If the espresso is good enough, it’s like a fine wine.  If the soy wasn’t worthy, then so be it. 

It was my turn. “Hi.”

The third-wave barista gave me a slight acknowledgement smirk.

“Ok.” I looked at the paper cups stacked near the espresso machine. 12,16, and 20 ouncers. On the back counter was a rack holding at least ten syrup bottles.

What the hell? They won’t serve soy lattes, but they have enough syrup to give a rhino a sugar rush?

I had to mess with Mr. Third-Wave. ”I’ll have a large mocha with raspberry syrup.”

Third Wave didn’t even hesitate. He rang it up. “$4.93.”

“Can you put extra whipped cream on it too?”

“Yeah, no prob.”

Enough. “Let me get this straight. You won’t serve soy because it compromises the espresso, but you’ll make me that?”

“Huh?”

I told him to forget it and left.

To these “third wave” coffee shops:

If you’re so “third wave” and bad ass about your coffee, why do you do this? Offer sizes larger than 10 ounces, various syrups, whipped cream, have-it-your-way Burger King crap?

Maybe if you don’t want those customers, you should charge more. Charge $10 for a shot of espresso. Hell, it’s supposedly ten times better than Starbucks, so charge $30 for it.

No one will pay that, you say? Well, that’s because, to the public, the difference isn’t that great. Yes, there’s swill and there’s nectar, but not to the public and certainly not to their wallets. 

And in the end, you’re still just a cafe. You’re not changing the world, just serving better than chain coffee. So don’t make people feel like shit for something they like. You’re in the hospitality business. That was your choice. Just serve the person the drink he wants to enjoy. Create an espresso club to snicker at “latte with peppermint” drinkers. Until the public can recognize the difference between coffee like they can recognize the difference between diner and fine food, you’re just a cafe. You’re good, but not that good. Not yet, anyway.

Two jokers find Bigfoot, or rather the body of one.

In what must be the news story of the century, evidence for Bigfoot has been located. This linked article from The New York Times reads more like it originated from The Onion, but sure enough, it’s not conjured up from the mind of some satirical genious.

The men who have Bigfoot’s body will produce DNA evidence tomorrow, Friday, in California.

Problem is that I know that this isn’t Bigfoot.

They have a body, but not of Bigfoot. It’s hairy, it’s big, but it’s not Bigfoot.

It’s the body of some guy who drank way too much coffee, flipped out, ran into the Georgian woods, and had a heart attack. The covering of body hair, you see, resulted from the man’s coffee intake. Caffeine increases hair growth. He’s been drinking over 60 cups of coffee a day for years.

It finally caught up with him. That is the real story.

It’s not always about coffee…

Sometimes, you just need a reminder.

In my case, there’s more to life than coffee.

The Perseid meteor shower is expected to peakTuesday morning. Best viewing is between midnight and dawn, at which, up to 60 meteors per hour can be seen in rural areas. For those of you that need the boost to stay up or wake up earlier, grab a cup of Hawaii Ka’u and enjoy the show.

They all let go after awhile.

The AP reports that “one of the largest and most photographed arches in Arches National Park has collapsed.” No one was witness to Wall Arch crumbling under time and gravity’s pull, but the collapse was thought to have occurred sometime last week.

“‘They all let go after awhile,’” said Paul Henderson, the park’s chief of interpretation.

Someday, all of the estimated 2,000 arches in the park will no longer hold court over the land. Like societies of old, they will not last. And what does this have to do with coffee?

It’s change. This time it’s taking the form of something so seemingly solid and lasting, and I’m reminded that nothing lasts forever.

I piss and moan over people’s inability to realize the marketing scheme of Starbucks and McDonald’s. Premium coffee, gourmet coffee, venti, grande, baristas, it’s all wool. Can you feel it covering your eyes?

If not, you will. Eventually. Like the Stephen King book, “Everything’s Eventual.”

And maybe the eventuality has already begun to show its face. Except, here there will be no thunderous crack, splintering of centuries-old rock, and heavy thuds upon the earth – all happening in the blink of an eye. No, this will be a fight.

Starbucks will fight. Only a few hundred stores are closed the first time around, a new smoothie drink is added, and a ”revolutionary” machine, Clover, is purchased to the unvieling of a new blend, Pike Place Blend, but gravity is still pulling.

What was a $20 billion company last year is now a $10 billion company.

Is this the natural ebb and flow of all things, or is it the arch becoming too tired under its own weight?

This is a truly interesting coffee concept.

Image from sweetmarias.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Forget the new “idea” at Starbucks -they’ve long forgotten how to be revolutionary when it comes to coffee. Consider this, roasting and brewing coffee that’s still in the parchment. This isn’t a new, vastly superior brewing method or technology, just trying something that hasn’t been widely done before, and I’m all for it.

Coffee needs to be pushed forward. Techniques perfected or changed. Maybe this is crazy thinking, but at least it is thinking.

Try something new, and you may be amazed. And disappointed that you didn’t think of it earlier.

How to drink coffee.

There’s millions of helpful how-to’s concerning how to make good coffee, whether it be drip, press pot, siphon, espresso, whatever, but there’s a lack of what to do once you’ve made the coffee. And I’m going to change that.

In this tutorial, when I refer to coffee, I’m not speaking about Starbucks House Blend or Gevalia. I am referring to good coffee; it’s coffee that you want, not that you need. And for this kind of coffee, there’s a proper way and an improper way to drink it.  

How to drink coffee…

1. no cream, no sugar - You ruin, mask, desecrate, whathaveyou, the subtle characteristics of the coffee.

2. black – If you can’t drink the coffee black, then it’s not good coffee. Or maybe it’s good coffee, but you butchered the brewing process. Overextracted or underextracted it. Burned it. Boiled it?  

You drink coffee black. That’s how you drink coffee.